July 28, 2009
A day to remember my mom, Judy. She died 3 years ago on this day. It's a date I will never ever forget, because it's the day my entire life changed. I now think of my life as "before my mom died" and "after". It's a very distinct line in the proverbial sand - July 28, 2006. The "after" is very different from the "before", in many many ways. Not that different is bad, it's just that so many things have changed. Sometimes it seems like 10 minutes ago that I found out mom died, other times 10 years. But inevitably, always right around the end of July for the last couple years I get blue, want to spend more time with my family, and miss my mom. It's such a strange feeling, in the middle of summer, to be so sad. It's usually bright and sunny, lots of fun activities are planned, but yet there's an underlying heartache that won't go away. Compound that with my pending birthday in early August (and my mom's, that we used to celebrate together), and it's like turning on the blender of my emotions.
But now, we have a reason to reflect on the amazing cycle of life. Out of this very sad, memorable day comes a reason once again to be happy and celebrate. My newest nephew, Liam Christopher, was born on the exact same day, 3 years after my mom left us for the next world. The significance of this is so deep that I haven't fully comprehended it yet. I won't let myself, I don't think, until I am able to be with Jill and Liam and Frankie and the rest of my family. All I can say is that the Gods (or at least my mom and her mom, both together and watching us and laughing conspiratorially) are crazy. Crazy in a way that's right on.
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